Guilt and Excess of Resources pt.2.

Being flowy into life also means being GRATEFUL. Being grateful is the opposite of guilt. So destiny decided to not give you Cancer (yet, you never know anyways right?) or any amount of misery that could justify your depression, so you have a family that supports you and friends and a house and maybe even a dog.. be grateful for that.

It is not the easiest to be grateful when one is unhappy. Also when we (the depressed) are unhappy we might not see beyond ourselves. All we focus on is on how much of a repulsive being we have turned out to be, on the fact that we will never get out of that stage, on the things we haven't done so far and the things we will never do, and for that we are a failure; scum of the Earth.

However, make a little hole in that balloon of -miserable- selfness.  Let some air out, take a breath and think for a bit in those things that you do have OR maybe those things others have given you. It doesn't matter if its a lousy birthday card from the dentist or if someone spared you riding the bus when you didn't have enough money. Someone has thought of you, someone has noticed you regardless of how shitty/dead you are feeling inside. So say Thank you. AND before you start to think "but-this-is/means-nothing-I'm-still-a-waste", start thinking instead of other details, maybe of people who are a bit more significant to you... think about the fact that you have been given so much... that you might not be using it right now as you would like, but you've been given...and you are constantly being given...

This takes us to the next point: LISTEN. The balloon of selfness is so full of ourselves and our perception of mediocrity that we just plain forget or believe we can't or just plain don't want to listen to others. This could be for a couple reasons: one is that we think that THEY don't understand, another one is that we can hardly understand ourselves either (we actually do, its more like not forgiving oneself for not sorting out things already), another one is that we also think we are not worthy of being listened to.

Anyways, for whatever reason this  happens the point is that it is NOT helping. So why not try something different? Why not leave aside that balloon (which is already deflating anyways because we had made a pinch with the gratefulness remember?) and start putting some air into the one of your depleted esteem? Why not listen when others actually recognise things in you that you don't want to admit or dismiss. That's right, here comes the dreaded emphasis on personal resources. Now I will not tell you how wonderful you are and amazing because you were chosen, you were the winner sperm betweeen thousands of millions that wanted to take the ovule, you are a fighter and a winner. That is how you were created and we all have been created that way, so thanks mother nature, that's about it.

 Now, you are someone with a history and some idea of where he/she wanted to go, you are someone who has certain skills that others may or not may have and with the ability to learn things - Oh yes, you can learn and associate things,  otherwise you wouldn't be even able to move the mouse in your computer  and am quite sure you can learn to LISTEN. Listen when others see the good things in you, and also Listen when they might give you a critique that might (or not) help you.

By the way,  LISTENING is selective.   You definitely tell things to yourself like "I'm such a failure" and you listen don't you? So why not listen when someone actually appreciates something you have done, and think.. Hey, maybe I am/can be the way this person has described me. Maybe I am kind of nice or smart, or kind or.. _________ (fill in here whatever quality others admire and you deny to ever had/ have anymore. You get the point.

The other side of Listening also involve in believing that most of the people you know or you read about want the best for you, and not caring if other people think otherwise - remember, be selective.So if someone mentions you to do some activities, try to listen and go and do some yoga or karate or whatever. Have a look at the book someone said it worked for them, you never know, and if anything a bunch of books in your shell might make you look cleverer. If someone tells you to stop being such a wimp, try to listen and think, just a bit out of yourself, if maybe, just maybe, you are actually  having attitudes that are derogatory to yourself and therefore this person would like to see you stronger - but he/she is out of ideas of what to tell so just summarized in "wimp".

What if you could actually perceive yourself the way others actually perceive you? Instead of the way you think others see you?



Keep posted.